aunts

as may approaches, my thoughts turn to an event that will surely change me and my life. my only sibling, my big sister, will have her first child. we know it will be a boy, and i know he will be more special than anyone. he will be mine... my nephew... and i can't wait to kiss his tiny nose.

it's my turn. i finally get to fill the shoes of the ones i've loved so much.

aunt mary smiled at me with her eyes. she still does. the tone of her voice changes when she says my name, "kaycie noodle." i know how much she loves me because she tells me in her hug. i am her sister's baby; i am the one who loved her as much as she loved me. when i think of the talk we had on the sofa at my cousin mallory's baptism, i cry. she could see my suffering in a way no one else could. it was our first adult conversation. i, in my 17 year old body knew for the first time why god gives us aunts.

donna was the aunt who needed no "aunt." she nurtured my love of hello kitty and sweet tea. she showed me that you can be super fun and good at the same time. and she is the only person i know whose love for my mom rivals my love for my mom. she was an orphan, but never played the victim. and i'll never tire of hearing her say, with a slight twang in her voice, "kaycie noodle!" she is my god mother and one of my favorite people in this world. when i see her, i love myself more. we had our first real adult conversation recently on facebook when she reminded me how wonderful my daddy could be and how much she loved and misses him. he loved her, too.

so now it's my turn. with tears in my eyes, i look forward to the future in a way i never have before. this little boy will change my world and i can only hope to make my aunts proud.